Monday, July 13, 2015

My Friends Stood Me Up

Photo Courtesy

My daughter called me one day, her voice a mixture of anger and sadness.

For the second time that same week, a friend made arrangements to meet. They were just going to have coffee or lunch. Whatever, just a time to chat and laugh. 

The meetings were around 2pm, technically after lunch. She chose to hold off eating to enjoy the meal with her friend. 

They lived about an hour and a half away from each other so the meeting place was put somewhere in the middle. 

My daughter watched the clock then left in plenty of time to get to the location. She and her friend had made the final arrangements about thirty minutes before she left so there shouldn't be any problems, right?

She parked her car just as a text came in. "Sorry," her friend's text read. "I won't be coming. How about if we get together tomorrow?"

I suppose it wouldn't have been such a big deal except another friend basically did the same thing two days earlier. 

It's hard to take these disappointments as a young adult. It's hard to take these disappointments at any age. 

We make arrangements, choose an outfit, comb our hair, and leave in plenty of time. We do our part because we made a commitment. Our word was given and we want to honor it. Not only that, we just like to be with our friends.

My daughter's heart was broken. I asked her to pull over to the side of the road. She said she did. I asked her to let her friend know how she felt. Not the whiny part or the angry part. Just the facts. She'd driven 40 minutes to the restaurant, she was ready to spend her own money, she was looking forward to their conversation and laughter, etc. "Then," I said, "Give her a chance to say she is sorry. That is what friends do. She probably has no idea of what is in your head. So tell her."

I was thinking about this scenario and how it applied to a relationship with God. If you're like me, you honor your people appointments unless there is an emergency. Then, if something happened, you call and make things right. But, I wonder, do I remember to do that with my God appointments?

Technically, isn't every minute suppose to be devoted to God? Yeah. I think so, too. 

Making a commitment to honor appointments with God today,
 tomorrow, the next day, and the day after. 

This post was brought to you by the one word--Committment and Honor


A.J. Cattapan said...

I feel for your daughter. I recently got kind of stood up by a friend, too. The sad part is that I didn't even get an apology when I sent a message later saying that I was sorry we hadn't been able to meet up and that I hoped everything was okay with him and his family. No response! If I hadn't run into a mutual friend of ours who confirmed he was alive and well, I might have thought something really bad had happened to him.

I hope I never treat my relationship with God the way that guy treated me!

Mary Vee Writer said...

Sigh....yeah. I feel the same.

quietspirit said...

I was looking for work several years ago. I went to an agency and talked to a woman who was known in political circles in town. She told me to return to that office on a later day and she would be able to help me out. I did as she asked. I went and she was gone! I waited awhile and then left her a note that I wrotewith a bit of sarcasm, thanking her. I felt so hurt about how she treated me, whenever I saw her name in the newspaper, I ignored that article.

Mary Vee Writer said...

Sigh, these acts are so very hard to very hard. I'm so sorry.

J.Grace said...

I understand as well, I invited a particular family for my preschooler 3 times. We planned on the day/time and each time she texted me a different excuse as to why they couldn't come.

Mary Vee Writer said...

I think the great difficulty in your situation is having to explain to the preschooler. The child's sad little face would be a heartbreaker.

Janice said...

Perhaps you gave the best reason for many of our hurts. They are a chance for us to examine ourselves and see if we are doing anything similar to hurt others or God. You sound like such a wise mom, Mary. Your daughter is blessed.

I was once stood up by a friend. I decided to forgive and get over it, and we've been blessed with a lifelong friendship. I suppose if someone kept doing that it would indicate a flaw of some type like overcommitment-challenged, etc. Maybe that is why God says to forgive seventy times seven times. Then people can be assured of having some lifelong friends. (My friend never was a no-show again.)

Mary Vee Writer said...

Yeah, I'm so glad she never was a no-show again...she would have missed out on a great friendship with you.
I think, too, we can help our "inconsiderate" friends...the ones who keep doing it, but posing blunt questions like, "Now, can I count on you to be there? I really look forward to our lunches, so I set the time aside." I think this would cause the person to realize that their word is respected by us. Their yes is a yes. I don't know. It's something i think I would try.

Love chatting with you, Janice!!